2 Months Sober
Two months might seem like a short period of time. But considering I’m completely rerouting a lifestyle I gotta say that, in addition to saving money and not having to pee constantly, I’m already seeing so many more profound, positive results.
I can hang longer, but not tooooo long.
Let me start by saying that I was never an alcoholic, because I don’t take that matter lightly. But whenever I would drink on the weekends, etc., I easily lost control. I have a lot more control of myself now. I hold conversations with people with poise and intellect, without my speech slurring like a confused idiot. I always hated when I would be so drunk that my mouth could not move as fast as my thoughts. I recently returned from a long weekend girls trip with my other 20-something girlfriends. I had a blast and I noticed some differences there, too. Firstly, I actually came home each night with the friends I went out with – as opposed to going home with some random guy I met at the club, who turned out not as hot as I thought he was at the club. I was coherent and could hold my own the entire time, instead of falling asleep and/or puking in the uber. So I can definitely hang, but I also don’t end up staying out longer than I’m personally willing to. Two reasons: 1) I don’t receive pressure from my peers to stay for “one more drink” (which always turned into more than one anyway) and 2) I typically don’t have anything in common with those people who are left at the bar til the late hour (i.e. I don’t want to go home with them or get any more “F’d up”). Yes, I do still go to bars because that’s where people my age like to hang out. I don’t have much to talk about with strangers at the bar because often the only thing people have in common at bars is that they came to drink. But that’s cool with me. I’m not one for small talk anyhow. Now I’m better able to come, see my friends, and dip. I am in control.
I have more self-confidence.
I’m also finding that I have more meaningful conversations with people, especially those I’m meeting for the first time. I remember more often to exchange contact info so that we can get together another time, and I also remember their name when I see it in my phone the next day! Aaand I don’t regret giving them my number. On the girls trip, I felt like a leader. I was always energized and ready for anything, unlike some of my friends who were hung over in the mornings into the afternoon (and nothing against them, I mean, we were on vacation). But I had lots of vigor to walk around the city and do physical activities. I was good with getting directions and managing our time – which I suppose I’m naturally good with anyway… Actually, some of the most interesting points I’m noticing are the things I still do that I previously thought I could attribute to drinking, such as impulsively posting on social media or sleeping in on the weekends. Oh well…
My friends respect me.
This is the best. I no longer feel like a burden to my friends when we are out. They don’t have to drag me around and take care of me, apologize for my behavior, or pick me up when I fall (literally). I am no longer the little sister that Mom forced them to take with. If anything, I feel more like the older cousin who has her own goals and stays in her own lane most of the time but is still down to hang with the fam and have fun! My girls will always be my girls, but I do see small distances forming when it comes to the activities we choose. For example, one of the items on my bucket list for the girls trip was to go to this cute ice cream parlor I discovered on Instagram that was only 2 or 3 blocks from where we were staying. However, we never made it there. Perhaps I could have pushed for it more passionately. Sure, I could have gone by myself if no one else was interested, but I perceived that they would rather spend our vacation time taking shots than pursuing the more wholesome family fun-type activities. These differences are showing me what type of person I am and want to become. And in these short 2 months, I’ve been shown so much encouragement from loved ones who want to see me healthy and happy, who are inspired by my commitment, and who can tell how much stronger a woman I am becoming already.
Through this blog I want to show people that the popular way isn’t always the right way. And it is never too late to put the past behind you and change your life. Wide is the gate that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But narrow is the road that leads to life. This blog is an arcanum for your feminine side. I encourage you to pursue your own joy and unique purpose because this life is fleeting. Good times are to be remembered, not blurred. And you will be remembered for what you stand firm in.
Photo cred: @k.crispy
P.S. Here’s a song that totally fits my mood regarding this topic. Enjoy to the max.